We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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