I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
