everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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