Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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