So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Say something about gay babies.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
