Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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