I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ladies don't puke and tell
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
