There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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