i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
