Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
