i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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