So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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