I just made out with a guy for $7.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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