I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
