That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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