remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
