Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
