I skipped work to stalk him.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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