Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
