needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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