you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
