youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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