Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
