Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
