There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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