I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
