We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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