is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
