how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You left your phone here
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