its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
