She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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