cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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