I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
