yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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