You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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