Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
