At least make sure they are 18
Why
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
