I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
