Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
