Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
