question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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