Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
