Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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