i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
