I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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