you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
