That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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