Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
