The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
