Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
